i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
