dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
