I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Randomize
