that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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