yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
