McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Who put my cat in the fridge?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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