Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
he shaved USA in his pubs
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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