Rock
Scissors
Fuck
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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