you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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