I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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