I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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