All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
so much tequila, so little girl.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
