it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Randomize
