I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
