Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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