He is such a slut. More and more my type.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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