Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
