even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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