I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
It was a blind-side dick pic.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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