You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
