No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
