I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
