I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I want a musical about memes.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
