I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
