so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
