How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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