he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
