My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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