Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Jerry, you need to find god
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
