so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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