Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
