god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
