She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
