i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I got inside last night via doggy door
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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