i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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