If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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