theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
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