I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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