Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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