i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
