pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize