My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
