at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
