I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize