What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
