I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
