ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
