so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
