is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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