Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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