I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
