Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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