All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
