the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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