I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I understand Curling. That high.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
