WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
