Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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