we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
