To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
How drunk are you?
Completed.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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