Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
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