so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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